Do you feel secure in yoursef? That idea of security is something that we all need now more than ever. Whether you feel that you need to feel cosy and comfy in your home, or like you are balancing on a knife’s edge, the only thing we really have control over in the world is ourselves. When we feel insecure, this is a gap in our armour. We need to be open and receptive to the world, but it’s important to have inner confidence and security. When you feel insecure about something, it plays on your mind. What can we do to guarantee that we are feeling better within ourselves?
Having a Physical and Emotional Evaluation
Sometimes we feel that we look older beyond our years. And everybody has some form of insecurity about getting older, especially in the western world. In other cultures, age is a sign of reverence. People view getting older as a negative thing and and explore options like having a facelift.
Sometimes, we just need to realise that getting older is a part of life. If you are stressed or worry that you have an underlying health condition, then get a check up.
Take Care of Yourself
Self-care is something that you can read so much about online that it’s almost rendered irrelevant. We see so much information about self-care, we skim over them rather than paying attention to the important facts. But it’s important to remember when it comes to self-care, that if you can’t look after yourself then you aren’t able to help others. On aeroplanes, you need to put your oxygen mask on first because if not then you can’t help others. When we start to think about our life and what we are here for in a evolutionary sense, it’s about survival. When we put other people before us and don’t prioritise ourselves, we start to view ourselves in a negative light. Think about the things that you are insecure about and where they come from. Whether it’s exercise or meditation, a little practice every morning and evening can make a massive difference to how you view yourself.
We all have those friends that crave reassurance. But if you are feeling secure you need to negotiate the balancing act. You need to see your insecurity for what it is. Insecurity is usually a fleeting notion and when you have trust in yourself that you can work through, this belies emotional strength. But there are times when we need a sounding board to remind ourselves that we are cared about. Emotional support comes in many different forms. It could be professional help, such as a counsellor, or it could just be having a cup of coffee or a chat with a friend. If there’s one thing that we’ve all benefited from during this pandemic is that we’ve never used FaceTime more! We all have now realised that we need to reach out to others just to understand that we’re all on the same page sometimes. It’s so easy to put the blinders up and tell everybody that you are okay, but it’s more important to say when you need a little bit of extra support.
Know When to Cut Your Losses
When you feel insecure about something specific, you may feel that you’ve got to chip away at it in order to overcome the issue. But when you are trying to make something work, whether it’s an emotional cause or a financial one, sometimes you’ve got to look for other approaches to make life work for you. This is not to say that you are a failure. We all need to invest enough effort into something to guarantee we’ve given it our best shot. But we have to remember that sometimes things aren’t meant to be. Que Sera Sera. If we try our best we can be confident in the fact that it is good enough. If we feel insecure about something or we are trying to make something change there will be a time when life tells us that we’ve got to let it go.
Look at the Good Things in the World
When we feel insecure or down, we can automatically focus on the worst-case scenario. The crux of cognitive behavioural therapy is to retrain our brain to see things in a different light. Because our brain is so pliable, this is where something like the self-fulfilling prophecy can overtake our mindset. When our brains are constantly bombarded with negativity we can be easily programmable to think like this. But the same can be said of the opposite. You can also retrain your brain to think positively through positive self-talk but also remembering that there are always good sides to the bad. Good times pass away, but so do the bad. And without being all philosophical, this idea conjured up by Boethius is something that we can all learn from. Life isn’t 100% horrible. And when we feel insecure within ourselves, we have to remember that this doesn’t have to be something that colours our entire lives.
When we feel that we are struggling in some way or we don’t feel happy about ourselves for a certain reason, it’s not about taking one approach to regaining ourselves and fixing the gap in our armour. There are a number of approaches, not just a one-way method.Love Lilla xx